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Comments for Mood Swings

Stroke/mood swings

My husband had a stroke 3 years ago. His left side was affected. He does really well considering. He has a slight limp and he constantly complaining of swelling on his left side. Since then I noticed his personality has changed tremendously. He is mean, forgetful and at times accuses you of taking things and not remembering where he puts things. As his wife, it has been challenging. It is stressful keeping up with his mood swings. The hurtful comments are painful. He acts as if its okay to be verbally abusive. Then the silent treatment for days.These actions has been overwhelming. I They can destroy what sanity that we do have. I find myself defending myself and my actions. I find this to be too much for me. It's just more than I can stand without having a stroke of my own.

Lost emotion

I dated this wonderful man for two years before he suffered a stroke to the right side of his brain. He was 59 at the time. I am older than my boyfriend and would do anything for him, that is until I noticed his gradual lack of emotion for me, it was on and off, but we managed. Suddenly he began drinking quite a lot, I was concerned about his health but nothing I said made any difference, so I stopped mentioning it. Then I noticed a complete lack of interest in me, finally, feeling sorry for myself I told him I would no longer be seeing him, his reply was "Okay" not even asking why, or want to talk about it. After a few weeks he was dating again...even had the nerve to call me on his way home from his date. He began praising her up so much I asked him was he talking marriage "yes, quite possibly!" Was his reply. It was like he had kicked me in my stomach. I had seen him through heart surgery, worked with him on cognition after his stroke, helped him financially, everything! Now he is cold as ice! I asked him not to call me again. I acted calmly but just the day before he was kissing me at my home! Is this man normal?

In it for the long haul

I am the wife caring for my husband who suffered a Pontine stroke 14 months ago. He has come a long way in healing:but we've been through it all....The nursing home for 4 months with him needing round the clock care. So I slept there,covering nurses shifts, feeding him,etc. He had dementia, times with delerium, incontinence,memory loss with severe mood swings.We live alone & his whole family seems to have forgotten about him. But not until after they accused me of his abuse & cause of his stroke!

There were actually 2 state police cases begun about this. I have been devastated. His 4 kids never answer his phone calls & they don't visit. I feel like we're all alone on a sinking ship.Maybe they don't want to see him in this condition or accept the fact that he's very sick. I have absolutely no support from anyone. It's a very sad situation. He occasionally thinks there are 2 different 'me's. It is a life filled with Dr appointments and hospitals.

He just turned 62. Now we're still watching the James Bond marathon on TV over &o ver again for 7 months. That's all he wants to see now I can't get him to sleep in the bed. So I don't sleep & he sits up all night. I know it could be a lot worse. I am praying for us to stay strong & for all others going thru this torture.

Caz

It's very sad reading the comments particularly the personality changes after a stroke. I had a stoke June 2013 a blood clot to the brain. I had drooping of the mouth on one side but luckily enough I thought I had got away with it quite well. Little did I know the full effects at the time. I suffer still with anxiety.
I have been married for 25 years and my easy going nature with my husband is not the same. Where as before I would be tolerable to his annoying things now I feel he does them on purpose with intention to make me mad. I don't trust him when he goes to work I believe he's cheating on me: I never was jealous; now I am. Some days I just cry and think a lot about everything your mind does not turn off. We fell out so much. We are living apart but see each other every night and 6 months has passed. I don't seem to think any different I still think he's cheating even though he said he will take a lie detector test. I have just started on depression tablets only 3 days into them. I have tried these before, but they didnt take away how I felt. I just want help to stop thinking he is deliberately hurting me with my lack of trust. It's caused the family to suffer. To me it's all very real. I just wish I could turn my brain off. I hate it. I feel I have hurt the most important people in my life, my family. I just want my old self back: happy, easygoing, love for life and trust in people. It's scary and lonely. I don't feel as yet there is enough knowledge about our brain to give people the answers required. Walking is good for me to help clear the mind. I am going to give my self 5 mins to go over things and not allow any longer each day the rest will be positive thoughts.

Severe Stroke survivors wife

My husband suffered a severe stroke 7 months ago. 4 and a half months in stroke unit of local hospital and now in nursing home needing 24 hour care.
Globally aphasic, unable to speak, sign or communicate in any way other than an unreliable nod. Unable to understand that he could press a call bell. Unable to move himself as right side hemiplegic needing full body sling to transfer. Doubly incontinent needing 2 carers to carry out all personal care. Only able to swallow pureed food and thickened drinks.

I still feel guilty that I cannot care for him at home but visit twice daily. Sometimes he seems pleased to see me, other times he seems to avoid contact or looking at me. This is hard after over 40 years together.

I am coming to realize that these mood swings are not voluntary and after trying to find a reason for them (uncomfortable? Thirsty? hungry? Needs changing?) it is better to let the caregivers deal with the situation. It is early I know, but the prognosis has been extremely poor from the start but an obviously strong body keeps him going (he is 84 and has survived 2 serious cancers)

I go home to our home full of memories and weep.

Life

i had a stroke 5 months ago, I was 90 in May.
It affected my right lower leg and very slight right arm. I can just move with the assistance of a Zimmer Frame and gradually improving, hope to assist my wife who has been
diagnosed as slight Parkinsons.
Without her I would not be here. We have been married for 66 years, where has the time gone?
What I wish to say is live for every minute, We do not feel old and still carry on as younger people, our brains are good and speech normal.To everyone, look on the bright side.

Please help

Question: My spouse is 49 yrs old. Approximately 2004/05, he changed into a monster. was bright/compassionate/fun/
responsible and well groomed. Now, he is abusive both verbally &physically. He is unpredictable with no impulse control, he has no reasoning & is dangerous to live with. He has been abusing alcohol (self medicating)and has blackouts/passes out from it in public/home & urinates himself. I can't leave him at home alone too long. He misses showers for a few days, however, he works full time job. On 12/15 a CT brain scan found several old strokes. How do I get him in a facility? I love him /just cant take anymore.

Answer from stroke-rehab.com It's possible that strokes have affected his brain, but it's also possible that alcoholism has done the same thing. Many individuals with alcoholism and drug addiction exhibit these same qualities. Since he is able to hold down a job, I assume that he is functioning at a high enough cognitive functioning level that the choice to make changes or seek help is up to him. You can express your concerns to him regarding his actions and the possibility of strokes changing his behavior versus alcoholism (or both), but it really is up to him to seek treatment. You might ask him to see a neuropsychologist who works with individuals that have emotional/behavioral issues due to neurological causes such as stroke. He might be more willing to accept that he has some problems due to old strokes than to alcoholism. If he won't seek help, then I suggest that you see a counselor to help you cope and determine your best course of action.

RE:Change in behaviour

Hi! My husband had a stroke 5 months ago, I try to help him where ever I can and am still working everyday. He's very rude to me at times, and I told him if he continues to carry on like this, I will not help him anymore. He gets therapy 3 times a week. His left side is not working. Do you think he needs counseling for this? Please let me know.Thank,Regards Sharon Austin.

Answer: You could have him consult with a neuropsychologist. The neuropsychologist deals with emotional issues and counseling related to neurological disorders such as stroke.

Feeling sad

I feel a little better reading other people's comments. My husband had three strokes in September 2013. He used to be a very loving, caring man. Since his strokes I can't recognize him as the man I married. He wanted a puppy so I got him one (she is gorgeous), but he never has anything nice to say about her, giving all his love to our older dog, who by the way is a gorgeous dog too. I dropped a jar of jam on my foot over the weekend. I didn't make a sound for fear it would irritate him all he said was f------ sit down. I go shopping every day looking for things that will please him, but they never do! I feel like walking away but I wouldn't. I still love him.

Now what?

I've been married to an alpha personality female for 30+ years. Whenever I am sick (flu, cold, etc.) she gets very aggressive and talks to me like a drill sergeant. In our time together, she's battled cancer, a broken leg and other maladies. When she is hurt and I'm the caregiver, things are different. When the tables are turned, I am "lazy, pitiful and weak."

I had a stroke in March 2015. I lost my job and cannot collect unemployment. The jobs I can get now in the hobbled condition pay 40% of what I was making. We are deep in debt, have a pending court case that will cost $20K and will probably lose everything and end up bankrupt. Mrs. Drill Sergeant leaves me lists of things to do everyday and all I want to do is die.

My boyfriend- stroke

My new boyfriend just had a stroke. I have never been in this position in my life and I have no clue what to do. He's unconscious right now and he will need brain surgery. I'm worried that he won't remember me when he comes to. Any tips on what I need to do and if he'll remember who I am?

My personal experience

RE: can't understand
by: tahir

I suffered a significant series of strokes in October of 2013. My short term memory was affected as well as my vision and speech. I was paralyzed on the right side and had a hard time functioning independently. It has taken me over a year to reach this point in my recovery but I realize that I still have a long way to go.

I know first hand what your mother is going through. For the first several months, I was not able to communicate clearly and it became very frustrating to try and convey to my loved ones what exactly was going on. Even though I could barely speak, my thoughts, or the voice in my head was crisp, articulate, clear and concise. My interruption was between thought and vocalization. The only way that I can describe it is feeling trapped inside my own mind. The easiest way to illustrate how it feels is to recommend that you view the music video for the song "One" by Metallica, or watch the 1971 film "Johnny Got His Gun" on which the music video is based. When you see the overwhelming sense of frustration and the feeling of hopeless isolation by the wounded soldier, you'll have a bit of understanding.

While I was recovering, I found it easier to communicate by typing words on my iPad. I couldn't hold a pencil or write legibly, but I could poke at the letters on the keyboard so the iPad gave me a tool to use and a sense of accomplishment when I was able to successfully communicate. It also helped later on in my recovery because people had a bad habit of trying to finish my sentences when I tried to communicate verbally. I know now that it was not intentional, but at the time it was perceived as pity and left me extremely frustrated.

I wish your mother the best of luck in her recovery and I hope my testimonial was helpful.

New Brain Not So Good

I had a stroke some years back; in my late forties. I'm a new, not better person. My attention span is short, unless something bugs me. Then I hold on to the thought for a long
time. I'm irritable and irritating. I hold grudges like never before. My feelings are hurt easily. My self-esteem is very low and I often feel disrespected and touchy. I know this but can't stop it. This is all very different from
my old self. Be patient with us; we really can't
help it. Seriously. S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y ! ! !

Mood Swing from Stroke

I have a male friend age 65 years old recovered from stroke 2 years ago. His mood swing is unpredictable. He go around talking bad about his wife to friends that he knows or to strangers he meets. He gets agitated very fast and likes to make unnecessary comments about people. He doesn't give people a chance to talk. He is egotistic and likes to talk loudly in public.

My mom had a stroke too

My mom had a stroke in August 2014. After a little over a month in the hospital and rehab she has moved in with me for care. My aunt has her while I am at work and I have her every minute I'm not at work. My mom cannot do anything without help. She is a shell of who she used to be and I am living with a stranger who loves to be the victim in every situation. She is mean and unreasonable, she has made every decision in her treatment and recovery impossible, for no apparent reason. All of a sudden my aunt is the good guy and I'm the bad guy, even though my aunt gets a break from her everyday and I do not. I love her, well I love who she was but I'm not sure how long I can last when she is so awful. I'm tired and heartbroken and doing everything I can to fix her. She could care less, just as long as her dinner is done on time. My aunt a Christian women who loves to act like a perfect human being could also care less that I am dying inside, but if I get stuck in traffic and pick her up 10 minutes late I get a very ungodly glare. I'm not sure how to put these pieces back together.

my husband has changed considerably in his attitude towards me since his stroke two years ago

My husband does not show any signs of having problems to most people, but my family have recognized a change in him especially towards me. He does not realize how mean and cruel he is with his comments to me as he was such an easy going man etc with a very good sense of humor, but now it is so different. For instance, I bumped my head whilst putting the cats tray down which is placed under the stairs and I horribly banged my head as I was getting up. He called me stupid and stated he is fed up with me for not realizing I have to step away from the bowl before getting up. Since having this particular cat, he is jealous of me having any affection or doing anything with the cat.

He also cannot stand me going out, albeit it is to go to the church to do some charity work. I have asked him to come and help etc., but he just refuses. I have lots of friends and wonderful family members but he seems jealous of me seeing these too. I am at breaking point. Do I go out or stay in as I need space from him, he is different when talking to neighbors or friends who drop by or telephone us. but behind closed doors his behavior is appalling. He is manic about the cat in that he doesn't like me to feed him etc., and this is upsetting for me too as I have always had cats. But with regard to this one, my husband is so possessive. Not sure what to do any longer. I am losing weight, losing touch with my friends etc. and feel mostly upset.

What On Earth Are We Going to Do Now?

My 49 year old son has a third brain tumor (the kind that keeps coming back). He suffered a stroke three months ago. He was paralyzed on the left side. His wife, her mother and I have taken turns staying with him. He recently was at a rehab hospital and had to leave due to Medicare requirements. He began to not comply with his rehab and also started squeezing the therapist' hand or wrist and his wife's. She learned how to transfer him in and out of the wheelchair and bed, etc. but he is very difficult and she can hardly do it. He is 200 lbs and not easy to "manhandle". He opens the car door while being driven to the doctor, etc. She does not want to put him in a nursing home but doesn't know what to do. Is there some other facility that would accommodate him? She is at her wit's end. They also have a little 11 year old girl and seeing all this is very traumatic for her.

Comment from www.stroke-rehab.com: Has she considered having a sitter come stay in the house with him during the day to help out with transporting him, transfers, exercises and self-care? She might be able to exchange something like room, board, and food to offset expenses if finances were an issue.

56 year old Black female stroke victim

I had a brain bleed almost 2 years ago. I retained all of my cognitive abilities, memory, can talk, swallow, but have limited mobility; Although I am working on it with the help of a great supportive family. Yes, we have our ups and downs. I am In pain every moment and very emotional,but we keep trying to move forward, by the grace of God. Although the pain and tone are vicious, I try to deal with it.

Sisters of stroke victim - Venting

I too just 2 weeks ago finally had it out with my older sister who had a stroke 5 years ago. She is paralyzed on left side, can walk with assist from cane. Left arm/hand atrophy. She has difficulty seeing from her left eye. She not only regained her speech, but she is still bilingual! She is very paranoid, and is taking on other people's childhood memories as her own. EX: Parents were never there, she was raised by well to do, snobby aunts. That's why we don't care about her. TRUTH: She was raised by parents, hardly saw snobby aunts because they lived in a different country!! As soon as she had stroke, my younger sister researched rehab facilities, and I researched Botox injections as a treatment. She called me all sorts of names and told me to go F-myself. I told I might someday, but was sad I could not tell her the same...as she already had done that with herself with her unhealthy behavior contributing to her stroke. But that's our fault too, according to her.

Soon after her stroke, our elderly father suddenly died, and our elderly mother who was never sick developed diabetes. The rest of us, especially those 15+ years younger than her got gray fast! LOL

One sibling admitted to sometimes asking herself if we made a mistake praying for her to wake up.

Just came from a family dinner, she did not show up. Oh well. No one even mentioned her.

Its Been 1 month

It's been 1 month after my mom's stroke and I'm feeling a little better about everything. She took some steps in therapy, trying to talk a little more (still just mumbles) and she can swallow water. She just looks so sad and i want everything to go back to normal. I'm 24 and just moved away from home two week before she had her stroke. I have my 18 year old brother to watch over now.

Personality Change After Stroke

My husband recently had a stroke. He was in the hospital one week and transferred to a inpatient rehab center for 3 weeks. I have noticed a big change in his personality. He is so much more loving than before and so calm and extremely nice. This is so different from some of the other comments where I have read about the negative behaviors after a stroke. I have truly been blessed.

Venting

On April 2, 2014 my mom suffered a stroke. Yesterday, May 27, 2014 her mood swings caused a huge family fight ... I am the youngest adult in my family tree, and my moms outburst caused me to call her an ungrateful b**** gather my things and leave my parents home to return to my home... My father stood there and absolutely said nothing... I put aside my own personal life to be by my mom's side since I had to take the lead role and be the strong one amongst my siblings...I need a support group for adult children of STROKE Victims....

cant understant

My mama has been a stroke patient since 6 months ago. She can't talk. She wants to say something but I cant understand.

Hanging in there

I currently reside with a stroke victim, and I find a pattern to his outbursts. First, he's overly happy, then he will go into depressed mode, then within 24 hours he will have violent outbursts. I try not to agitate his situation. I notice he is aloof afterwards. Yes, it's a vicious cycle and hard to contend with. It takes a lot of patience, understanding, and a thick skin.
.

you are the stranger

I had a brain bleed and 2 strokes at one
time. I was in a coma for 14 days.
Yes, it changed my life and my emotions.
I didn't want anything to do with anyone. Noise was so loud that children playing
sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
My family members would talk to me,
and I cried for fear of rejection.
It's taken me years to trust myself.

I still forget what I'm doing.
I still talk to people and in the middle
completely forget about what we
saying. I can't be told to do more than one
thing, I'll forget what you told me to
do and sit down. Tell me your name, walk away come back, and I don't remember it.
Talk about something and ask me
what you said, I wouldn't know.
Great secret holder.
I can't remember anything before the
strokes. I lost my childhood and my
children's childhood.

I'm happy, my husband is very good
to me, and I live life one minute at
a time. I've survived this since 1999, and
all I can say is teach us like small
children and have patience with
us because you're the stranger
in our new world.

Personality change after a stroke

Thanks for your comments about personality change after a stroke.
We three girls are having a dreadful time after mums stroke. She causes dreadful hurt and pain with her comments. So many times I have walked away just to come back a week later feeling so guilty.
This am another shocking assault of verbal assault over the phone. When is enough enough.

Return to Mood Swings.

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