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Comments for Problems with frustration and with losing temper

Husband's Stroke Affected Emotional Control


My husband had a stroke 9 months ago and refused therapy for his right side paralysis and speech problems. I quit my job and became his therapist by reading books on stroke recovery. Now he can walk fine with a cane, go up and down steps, and I and our 12 year old daughter can understand 80% of what he says. His right arm is still paralyzed and we are continuing to exercise it at home, although he won't try many of the exercises I believe could truly benefit his arm. He seems to have decided that he's reached the limits of his possible recovery. The most difficult aspect of all of this for me has been his emotional changes. He is rude, mean, and disrespectful to me about 50% of the time. He wakes me up in the middle of the night yelling in my ear about something he thinks I did wrong. Nothing is ever good enough for him, and I have to constantly walk on eggshell around him. It's like he's built a brick wall between us, and every now and then he throws a handful of grenades over the wall at me. He's not happy unless he's done something during the day to test me down and hurt me. It is SO difficult to have a close relationship with someone and then lose it overnight like this. I said "til death do us part", and I meant it, but every day I just wish we could go back in time before the stroke. I try to give him space, talk calmly to him, never reciprocate his nastiness, try not to take things personally, not smother him......I realize his life has changed dramatically and his brain and control of his emotions may have been affected by the stroke and it's not all his fault. Reading the other comments on this website makes me so sad for the commenters but also comforts me to know that I'm not the only person going through this kind of situation.

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