Comments from Readers

Comments for Complete Personality Change at Wit's end.

Is it me?

My husband had a stroke in 2019, since then it has been an uphill battle. I purchased practically a full rehab center in my home from lifts to beds..not to mention the small equipment.Yet to this date he only prefers to watch TV. I've been with him during rehab sessions that he does great but as soon as we get home nothing. He has no desire to fight to be strong. I have prepared a place for him to be successful in his recovery, but he does nothing. Is it me? Have I made things too comfortable by buying him what I thought he needed? Now he simply doesn't want to even practice speech. His coughing is increasing more and more. You can hardly understand anything he says..... is it me. Have I created this? I don't even feel like a wife anymore, just a hired hand. I feel guilty that I'm so angry for the lack of participation. I try and put myself in his place and be patient, however sometimes I want to get in my car and keep driving.

My husband’s paranoia

My husband had a stroke 7 months ago. He spent 45 days in a rehab facility and I never left his side to make sure he was being taken care of. We have been home for months now and I work day and night taking care of him and house and figuring out ways to make money at home since I can’t get a job away from home because he doesn’t want to be with anybody else but me. He now has become so paranoid, and he thinks I’m so unfaithful and have many lovers. He can’t see me on the phone because he accuses me of talking to my so called "lovers". He’s not caring with me at all. However he is with his two children from a previous marriage. I love him, but it’s getting harder and harder to keep my head straight and being able to handle him and everything else with love and dedication as in the beginning. I read many similar stories. It’s so sad a stroke can change a person so much. Please don’t give up on your love one. God always has a purpose for us. Leaving is the easy way out. Switch places and think what you would like your spouse or parent to do if it was you the one who suffered the stroke and got dementia as result of that...kindness goes a long way. Love without expectation. Good luck everyone 🙏

Life after the Stroke that though it had me till I showed it who I really am!!!!

42 months ago a slight stroke got me . I lost everything I had ever worked for and I hit rock bottom but today my health is strong and I’m fighting back like shark on a fishing line. Mentality I’m all there so from working a mechanic shop for35 yrs of my own well I am going back at it again. Only this time I am the owner , advisor, , the go to fiot knowledge guy about Automotive & Paint. I have 2 employees backing me doing repairs just like I would before. Now I tend to the office & order all my own paint & parts. I also became an Life Insurances Agent so from my office I do all my submitting application for policies as if I been doing it for years I just clicked learning the business & have my wife doing the sales calls to clients . Life is what ever your dreams are never give up you didn’t die it was just a minor set back .
Thank God Almighty for your Life & get in there just like everyone hustling for the Blessings of Life God Listens🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Boyfriend

I'm so unhappy my boyfriend had a stroke 2yrs ago and refuse to do anything other set in front of the tv and smoke cig and weed and waits on me to do everything he has set so long he can very walk now the strong cause him not to be able to talk I'm just done I want to leave him he gets mad at me for telling him he needs to get up and move and walk more I work in a nursing home to and I've had all I can take he watches everything and move you make don't want me to leave the house or nothing i need help on what to do he's driving me crazy

Comments for Complete Personality Change at Wit's end.

Hi I am a stroke survivor. My stroke occurred 7 years ago. My stroke was an ischemic stroke in the left hemisphere, that left my total right side paralyzed. I had the same issues you are describing. My stamina was almost non existent I didn't want to do anything (be with people). My mind didn't work well. What I was thinking didn't match with what I said sometimes. It would have been easy to just stay in my own little world. What helped me the most was a care giver that pushed me to go places and do things, I didn't want to do. Going to a stroke support group is a must. I was pushed to go to the first meeting and if I wasn't forced to go back I don't think I would have. After a few meetings I found my self wanting to add to the discussions. The people at these meetings in the same boat and the care giver at first get some answers what to expect. Now I would miss meeting. Just being around others is the most important part of the recovery. I was able to recover enough to look normal. But the recovery is still happening because My wife and care giver didn't let me stop living. If your interested I just published my first book, something I never did or ever thought of doing. I was able to write down my feeling and how my mind was working at the stroke. This could be helpful. The book is titled "The Night Our Lives Changed Forever: A Stroke Survivor" Available online. I hope this helped. God Bless Jud

My husband is a jerk

My husband and I have been married now for 13 years he had a massive stroke on June 19th 2017. He almost didn't make it. He had swelling on his brain so they removed the bone flap on his left side. Once the swelling was gone they put the bone back. Now my husband has always been a jerk. He would say mean and very hurtful things to me he has cheated on me. Now it's worse his temper he flies off the handle about the littlest things. And he calls me by his first wife's name or his second wife's name. That's what really makes me made. I'm the one taking care of him bathing feeding doctors appointments. I have no life of my own. I can't remember the last time he said anything nice. And because of his cheating ways in the past I can't go to the bathroom and lock the door. Or I'm doing something wrong. No sex in over 2 years. I have not cheated but it has crossed my mind. I feel like a nervous reck all the time never knowing what is going to happen next. Trying to handle it all I don't know how much longer I can take it. I married for better or worse in sickness and in heaven till death due us part . I pray I can do this.

Mini stroke

My boyfriend was a beautiful man, my soul mate and we loved each other so much. He had a mini stroke 3 years ago, but every few months he would SKITZ OUT over petty stuff. He'd go crazy and crazy at me. I've been hit a few times and he doesn't stop. His eyes are blank like he's not there. He blames me for everything. He will destroy events like Xmas, birthday, etc. like he gets pleasure. He has never said sorry. He's rude, puts me down, picks on me, and blames me. To sum it all up, he's a down right pig.
He was never like this before.

Help the carer

Can I put my husband anywhere? I need a break from him. Sick of being unhappy. I have done it alone and now at the end of my tether. Getting to hate him. He is horrible and very aggressive. Why should I put up with it? My health is suffering too. What can I do?.

Husband left after 39 years of marriage

My husband of 39 years had some mini strokes. We had a good marriage but he abruptly changed. His family took over and he left me, treating me terribly and married his ex-wife who he could not stand. He hates me for no reason and put me through a divorce from Hell for two years. He had his whole family backing him. It was all for money. The two of them now live in the house we built 28 years ago. I don't think I'll ever get over it. He is not the man I knew and loved with all my heart.

Worrying

I used to be a person of strong opinions and have always been tough. My stroke has made me a compulsive worrier. I constantly worry with "What if" thoughts.

My dad's stroke

My dad has suffered a stroke a few days ago caused by a blood clot. He has lost feeling and movement in his left side and is struggling with his eye sight and swallowing. The doctors have confirmed he has brain damage I think he is suffering with short term memory loss too. It's difficult at the moment as not only having to deal with everything that has happened I'm having to deal with his partner who is confusing him more by saying things like you will be out of hospital in a few days and talking about other stresses around him. His ears still work and this is stuff he doesn't need to hear. Nothings been said yet but I'm going to have to talk with her as i can't take much more. I know were all stressed and it's effected us all but he still has his own mind and I don't want him getting stressed out.

Sexual frustration after stroke

My male partner had a stroke 6 years ago. He is almost fully recovered physically although still has some pain and numbness on left side. It is his moods swings I find difficult to cope with. He can be fine for 2/3 days then become irritable moody and cross with me but after sex he is fine for another couple days until sex again. I have noticed this pattern. Can this be a result of the brain damage in some way caused by his stroke or something totally unrelated. Please help

My dad had a stroke

My dad who is 58, had a stroke a week before my birthday and it was totally unexpected and out of the blue. He was showing signs of it but my mom was totally sure. My dad wasn't really even focused on it, he was mostly worried about work and was sending out emails to coworkers about how he wasn't going to come in that day. My mom made and appointment for the doctor and let him rest until then but when my mom when to get him up he got totally worse. His left side was totally immobile and he was getting easily distracted and wasn't comprehending things as fast and he just wasn't himself at all. My mom ended up calling the ambulance and they came and took him to a hospital close to us, but they didn't do anything. They ran tests and all that and said he didn't have a stroke and sent him to his doctor who also wouldn't take him so my mom took him home. He was still stroking then. The stroke got progressively worse and the first hospital wasted all of our time to get a shot to stop the stroke from progressing. My dad got worse and so my mom called he ambulance again and he was taken to a different hospital, which said he did have a stroke.

Anyways, my dad was in the hospital for about 21 days and now is in a rehabilitation center. He's had had a fast recovery so far. He can't quite move his left leg but he can move his toes and his left arm. His speech is good and he is understanding things, but still not quite as fast and he has short term memory from the stroke, which is hard. He is definitely determined to get better, but the way his mind is right now I don't think he will be able to go back to work, which scares me because my dad loves my job. Plus, he has been sad a lot of the time and emotional which is expected, but I don't want his saddens to get in the way. I'm also trying to deal with all of this because my mom doesn't handle situations well and didn't have a good childhood and had a lot of issues and so she doesn't really know how to love me the right way sometimes if that makes sense. Like she blew up over such a stupid thing. My mom was trying to move his little table over by him but I was in the way and she said move and I said excuse me would be a nicer word and then my dad said you could be a little nicer and my mom blew up. She told my dad that he didn't need to comment on everything and the. Yelled at me and told me that she's the parent and can do what she wants and I'm the child. All I asked was if she could use a nicer word. Then she went in to my dad and said I'm tired of you putting them above me. She could just care less about my feelings right now. She thinks she's the only omg going through this.

This is a time where we need each other. I have my older sister who I talk to sometimes but not about everything because I feel like I'm being ridiculous or ungrateful, I'm grateful to still have my dad with us obviously, its just hard because we don't know if he will be able to work again and my life could be very different from now on and that's just hard to deal with a little. I don't know. Plus, I don't have the best relationship with my mom. I always got along better with my dad. My mom can just be over the top sometimes and it just adds way more stress. Basically I'm just a stressful, anxious mess.

Husband had 4 strokes

I was 36 he was 39. Both our first marriage. He had a stroke 1 month after we were married. It affected his L side, cognition, and a little speech. He made a miraculous 90% recovery. From wheelchair to just having a brace on his L leg. This was 2005. In 2012 he suffered 3 more strokes. The L frontal lobe. He was in ICU for a week. He came home with a peg tube in the stomach. That is how he ate for little over a month. His whole demeanor has changed like from night to day. It is very Difficult to understand when he talks. The L side of his face is paralyzed. Little things will set him off. If the front door is opened a crack, he'll start telling. My daughter was folding laundry on the counter. The corner of a sheet was in the drawer he pushes the laundry on the floor and slams the drawer and broke it. He doesn't like noise or people laughing. Its like walking on egg shells. I ask him why do you get so angry? He says "I don't know!" It is really putting a strain on everything. He's not the same man that made me laugh. Now I just cry. I love him, but I don't like him.
Can anyone help?? Please and thank you.
Tricia

feeling alone

I'm having a real hard time since the stroke. I don't have use of my left side, and I hate not being able to walk correctly. Sometimes I feel all alone. The only time I get out is to go to church. No one has the time for me.

Ex-sister-in-law hallucinations and allegations

Hi,

I hope someone can help or confirm that what I think could be true.
My brother and his wife have been apart and now divorced for 3 or 4yrs now. She has previously had 3 strokes to our knowledge. On several occasions she has made allegations that ex boyfriends have abused her or stalked her.
Recently she has now made allegations that my brother has abused her physically, mentally, stalked her etc. I'm now wondering if these delusions are an effect from previous strokes? Has anyone in encountered this?!? Or similar.
Obviously it has become a very serious issue now and there is also a child that lives with her so not sure where to go from here.
Any help advice would be greatly appreciated!

i'm fhs only one he doesnt want around

My very close friend and on and off boyfriend but always very close throughout had a heart attack and serious stroke. He is 59, a lawyer and comes from a big loving family. We not only worked together for years everyday but many months before his stroke and heart attack. He is making a relatively miraculous recovery to the point where is he is at a very good rehab and improving in his speech, still in a wheelchair. The other day was his birthday, and his family and close friends were there. When a few of us went to bring him upstairs they also kissed him goodbye, and when it was my turn he turned his face away. Every time I've seen him he has gotten irritable and angry even though we spent quality close time together especially in the months before this all happened. Now the family is saying I shouldn't visit anymore cause it is getting him upset. I had already made the decision not to visit anymore unless something changes. But I have to admit that I felt like a victim and feel like they suspect I did him wrong which I didn't and we were very close and he would never have acted this way to me. I've speculated what it all could be. In the hospital before rehab he even said go to your boyfriend the best he could speak. I don't want to upset him, his family or me and even if I wanted to visit I've been banned. What could make him act this way....the latest thought I had that maybe he is stuck in a place where he just feels comfortable with his immediate family and friends and is kind of stuck in the past yet certain memories about me irritate him....In any event, I feel like my best friend is gone and don't know why and it is killing me and feel like his family looks at me like I did something wrong to him to deserve this but didn't unless deep in side he wanted me to go way before...I don't know. Anyone else have this experience? I have googled this and can't find anyone stating they have experienced this and would love to know if anyone here has....

Everyday's a different day

My husband, my best friend, my soulmate had a stroke 5 years ago and it's been very hard dealing with the fact that the man who put me on a pedestal for so many years not only doesn't seem to care anymore but almost seems to resent me entirely. I dealt with it and continue to try and help him with all his therapies and anything he needs even when he clearly doesn't want my help (even though he does need it). He had a right brain stroke which has left him paralyzed on the left side. He walks with a cane but has no use of his left arm. He also has moderate to severe cognitive issues. His processing speed and his attention span is severely affected and he has attempted and failed to get his drivers license 3 times. I still keep helping him with eye therapy and cognitive classes because he is in severe denial as well. In the past year he started suffering from delusions. He thinks I'm cheating on him with a young man (we're both in our 60's) who he thinks I allow to use our home when we're not there, using his shower and his soaps. He thinks that I'm giving this man money for sex and that I keep him in another room while he sleeps. Anything he runs out of he blames on "the moron". He wants me to leave. I can't leave him, even though I want to because I'm so miserable, but he can't take care of himself what do I do?

Comment from stroke-rehab.com: If you haven't already or haven't done so since he started having delusions, I recommend visiting with his doctor regarding the delusions to see if any meds could help. I also would take him to a neuropsychologist or neuropsychiatrist who deals in emotional/cognitive issues of people who have experienced neurological injury. You definitely need some expert help in managing his behavior.

mother had a massive stoke dec 12th 2015

i too am looking to educate myself as much as possible. my mother is 63yrs old. and for the first twelve days i was told that her brain was swelling to the point that it would shut her heart off. i was called twice to come in because they thought she was slipping away.
now she seems to be doing well and off life support. she has no control over her her left side from head to toe. but she seems to still be herself! she can make hand signals and nod her head.
i understand that some people can get help in their homes and im very interested in finding out as much as possible. my goal is to get her home but she will need full time care.

About Stroke Victims

I understand your feelings as I am going through a similar situation. It was like reading about my own life. It is an extremely painful situation. However, I feel it may be very painful for him too in some way that I may not be understanding. I wake up and go through the day with a heavy heart dreading the evenings when things go really, really bad. I also understand that there is no one else who can take care of him the way I can. Keep heart for the love does exist, somewhere, deep within. It's just that the absurdities at the physical level have affected it in this way but at the soul level everything is just the same. Look for the little signs of love and I'm sure you'll find them.
All the best. Keep going for that's the only way forward :)

About stroke victims

My Husband of 31+ years had a stroke almost 4 months ago. He became the complete opposite of how he was prior to the stroke. He has no love or feelings for me or anything that he oce cared dearly about. It is so upsetting and hurtful. Can anyone offer any sound advice or help to try to overcome this scenario? It is soul destroying for you as the wife and soulmate. How can someone change in the blink of an eye and care nothing about you anymore? Does this feeling ever come back? How do you even begin to accept that the person you care for and love can treat you with such disrespect and shut you out of their lives?

My Heart breaks for you

After reading your story about your mild stroke and your son's repulsive behavior and attitude, my heart breaks for you. I became my Father's Power of Attorney about 8 years prior to his passing. I made a continuous decision to give him as much free will as possible of within safety guidelines. Ma'am, with all due respect you should ask a good friend or someone you completely trust to help you set guidelines with your son. He's completely out of Control.
As bad as it may hurt, consider cutting his ass off for a while. He has crossed lines and boundaries with you that are incredibly horrifying.

I will be praying for you.
God Bless you Dear and if you ever want to talk or vent just contact me. We can always chat privately.
Best of Luck, God Bless,
Sincerely
-Mr. Burkhart

Controlling Son and my Heart Broken.

I had a very mild stroke about 3 weeks ago. I was home alone when it happened. I knew it was likely a stroke because my mouth drooped slightly on the left side and my speech was slurred due to the loss of motor control of my mouth, I was not confused and my memory and all other cognitive function are intake so far as I can tell.

I did not call an ambulance because, having worked with elderly as a caregiver in my younger days it was understood that there was nothing to be done after the stroke (I was not aware of the new procedures for treating stroke today). There were other factors such as a lapse in my insurance and recent bad health care in a hospital situation that had me frightened to return to a hospital In retrospect I well understand how foolish my decision was, my son however has made it a case for me needing to be controlled.

Right after my stroke, I made peace with the lifestyle changes that I knew must occur. I went on a low sodium and low fat diet, quit smoking and quit working as hard as I was. I downloaded charts from the internet and have taken my blood pressure three times a day to aide my doctor in finding the right treatment for my hypertension. I stopped drinking coffee and exercise at least 20 minutes every day. I try to get enough rest but my sleep habits have changed so sometime I must sleep in in the morning to get enough rest. I have since seen a doctor who after examining my reflexes and testing my cognitive retention told me with my so present that i could drive a car, that is how mild my stroke was. My son and his wife however are not convinced, They heard the word "Stroke" and have now made up their minds that i am no longer able to make good decisions or care for myself. This is completely hogwash. I have been taking care of myself pretty darn well since the stroke. I eat right as I stated above and do all the things that is recommended. I take regular baths, no less than I used to, go shopping, visit friends and pursue the usual pursuits as I did prior to the stroke, even though I admit to being more easily fatigued and yes very emotional at times. This seems to be a common thread among stroke survivors. I know that this too shall eventually pass if I follow the steps I have already begun, on my own, toward a healthier lifestyle.

I understand that my son loves me and is concerned and I understand that it is normal for him to worry, but I have always been independent and strong and do not intend to fold up and turn into a basket case over this. I do not want to be treated like a child who needs a nanny to watch over them. I have demonstrated many times over that I am clear thinking and capable, my doctor seems to agree but of course he dismisses the doctor saying he did not think much of her and my daughter-in-law whom I have always adored just goes along with everything my son says like a parrot. That really hurts because I have secretly sympathised with her for putting up with my son and let her have my shoulder when she needed it.

Well it came down to this, just today, a few weeks from Christmas, we had a terrible fight in which he kept asking what I had on my salad and when I said pickled beats he became angry (I think because he thought I put dressing on my salad which I did not . He said "Mom don't you know there is lots of salt in pickled beats?!" I through up my hands , here we go I thought. MY doctor did not mention on my paperwork that I should go on a low salt diet only a low fat diet but it was my idea to cut down on salt. That is not enough for my son who is NOT a doctor, although oddly the day before he made me a sandwich using processed meat and processed cheese with mayonnaise on it! I was the one who pointed out that perhaps the sandwich had too much salt and fat content but that was his error so I guess OK by him. Anyway I told him I will not be micro-managed by someone who orders pizza delivered and has candy and cookies out where I must view them and abstain while I eat tasteless food. He became loud and mean to me I was so upset I was afraid for my health and asked , no begged him to stop yelling at me. I was crying so hard and was in distress but apparently he did not care, he brought up things from the past that I thought we had sorted out and put behind us and would not move his car from behind mine so I could leave my own house to escape the torment. Instead he stood in the driveway way of my beloved peaceful neighborhood and screamed to my neighbors what an awful person I was, he brought up things that you never want your neighbors to hear, true or not true. I have never sired my dirty laundry in public and I was mortified and frightened. Finally a friend came and picked me up so I could get out of there, my heart was pounding and I felt light-headed. The last thing my son told me was that I just lost any relationship with him and I would not be seeing my grandchildren anymore. OVER WHAT? Over wanting to retain my independence for a few more years? But this is not the first time he has done this, I did not get to see my granddaughter when she was born nor did I see her for the first year and a half of her life all because I did not phone him enough . My ex husband has never seen the new baby because of something he did that my son doesn't like and my daugher-in-laws parent were banned from seeing him until just recently. My son is like a dictator and it is destroying every relationship in his life and it is killing me ...literally
So please, do not assume the position of looking after someone who does not need nor want to be manged. We should still retain the dignity and purpose of our freedom for as long as possible.

Truth

I had a stroke at 42. Lost use of my right arm. I know exactly how your Mother feels. I can't give you advice. It's a living hell. No amount of medication...therapy...or support helps. Period. Sorry. I was a strong independent woman. Now I live alone on permanent disability and can barely afford food by the end of the month. I pay bills and watch TV. That is my life. I lost desire for everything. Brain trauma makes you feel hopeless. Btw...I don't need advice from anyone. You don't have to live my life.

wit's end

i'm praying for your situation as well as my brother.

Everybody is different

Every body is different when it comes to stroke. I am blind with little memory, can't reading, can't read what I'm writing, and very little ability to want to live. I've been like this for 9.5 years. Things are getting better, but I had my stroke when I was 37 years old and I am now 48.

Having friends and family read and become very educated about that specific person is important to me. Guessing and listening to doctors can help but won't fix it I'm my opinion. It takes people who are willing to be in it for the long haul and that won't fix every thing. Every one around the person will have to become educated and willing to become a team to help this person if he/she had the kind of stroke that removes ones memory and ability to think.

This is just my opinion because I had a stroke that I was born with that nobody new about until I had a brain bleed at age 37. It took me 3 or 4 years until I could understand what people were telling me, to know that my kids names were, or who I was. It's now been 9 years, and I still don't know much and i think it will take another 90 or so years.

Please don't be angry at stroke people. If you are a family member, neighbor, friend, or what ever, please read as much as you can. I lost my family and children and every thing else because of it. I am lonely and afraid and want to day because there is no one who can help me. This is after 3 years of occupational, speech, physical, and psychological rehab.

I do believe that I am getting better as the years go by but I know I will never be what I was. Even though that's not important, It would be nice to know that I can be something. It will take time. Even that takes work to accomplish. It's important if someone can help stroke people to do that without the price tag.

Confused

The man I live with as a room mate had a stroke. He is 68 an now needs everything thing done for him. He won't pay me. He is not broke, and he would pay someone else he doesn't know $40 to get him cigarettes. I don't get a dime. I pay for his food, three meals a day. What to do???

Please help, my mum had a stroke 6 months ago...

My mum suffered a stroke in February of this year, she's only 49, 48 at the time, and since the stroke she has changed in many ways. She doesn't smoke anymore - she has no memory of it! I feel like I'm talking to a child sometimes as she hardly eats anything now and trying to get her to eat is proving difficult. She started eating regularly but stopped about a week or so ago. When she was eating, her health improved as well as speech and memory. However, since she stopped, she's reverted back to terrible memory and speech and with this she gets frustrated with herself and then gets angry and takes it all out on me. As much as I love my mum and know it's difficult for her, I really wish she didn't take it out on me as I'm the one who has been with her thoughout her stroke and recovery. Also, no one else can see this happening, and for a 22 yr old like myself, it's a hell of a lot to deal with as well as stressful. Please if anyone has any tips to deal with this I'd be very grateful.

Re: 53 year old stroke victim

Being 53 post-stroke myself and living alone I wanted to offer my perspective. I strongly recommend he find a stroke support group. Here he will see survivors in all stages of recovery. There will be some who have made enormous recovery and those who are far worse off than him. The ones who are farther recovered will give him hope that he can do that also. To the ones worse off he can be the example that recovery is possible for them too. It may also remind him of where he was not too long ago reinvigorating his drive for complete recovery. He may also wish to consider doing some sort of volunteer work giving him a source of purpose. Either way stop with the "victim" mentality. Calling him a victim or treating him like one will not build his self esteem. I didn't think that a support group, psychologist, or meds would help me. But, my drive to recover overrode those feelings allowing me to try and know now it was the right choice for me. I hope this is helpful and that he gets the help he needs!

Re: "Stroke Victim"

Having survived 2 Strokes 12yrs ago and being 53 myself. First, stop referring to your husband as a victim! Stroke Survivor is a much better term. Then, take the focus off of yourself and how his inability to show you the affection you think you deserve. Put the focus back on him and helping him recover. His brain has been damaged and things have changed. If you need help coping with these changes then I suggest that you seek couples therapy from a psychologist specializing in stroke recovery. And/or, at least find a caregiver's support group for yourself. At least attend all of his therapy so you have a better idea of what he is going through. Your husband is not the reason you're not getting the love you feel you deserve after 35yrs., The stroke is the cause. Either way, this is what has happened, accept that and then try to change it. I hope these suggestions are helpful and don't discourage you.

53 year old stroke victim

Our son, 53 years old, suffered an ischemic stroke in early July. His right side was affected...droopy face, right hand won't work, and right leg is affected. After 5 days in hospital and 5 days in rehab, he is home. His face is fine, his hand is stronger but still can't write. His leg is stronger but his foot drags a little. I think he's fortunate but he wishes he had just died...doesn't want to live like this. He lived his way for a long time and look what it got him. He's over
weight, has high BP, smoked, has Type 2 diabetes (all uncontrolled at this time). It breaks my heart to hear him say his life is over or "I wish I had just died". His wife recently left him with his 17 year old daughter (who has been steadfast through all this). But I understand how he feels. He has no money coming in (only going out for his bills). How do I convince him that he can get well, if only he tries. I'm so scared for him.

About Stroke Victims

My husband had a stroke 3 years ago. It seems he has changed so much. Does a stroke victim lose there emotional feelings towards people? He says he has no love or feelings for anyone. I am very hurt. He says he has no love for me his wife of 35 years or towards family members. The affection isn't there any more. I am very lonely and hurt. I just can't believe one day he has feelings for me and the next he doesn't.

My mom had massive stroke August 14, 2014 and we have not seen her since October 4th 2014

My 71 year old mom had a massive stroke in August 2014. Though she never lost her ability to walk or talk, her memory comes and goes, she can't read, and things like cooking or writing she really can't do. October 4th, 2014, her 47 live in boyfriend got angry because my sister and I told him we needed to get POA over her so we could help her to legally take care of a lot of things she was frantically asking my sister and I to do for her when he's not around. He kept pressuring her about her credit card bills being paid. The last thong she needed to worry about was some credit card debt. For the past 5 years he has been trying to get my mother to buy a 2000 sq ft. home in her name since he has nothing including credit. So despite the fact she had a massive stroke, he's still trying to keep her credit together. He went off on me and my sister because we wanted to get POA and have her stop paying the CC bills. We have not been able to see my mother since that day of October 4, 2015. My mom started telling people we were trying to put her in a nursing home, which we would never do. I've been doing my mother's hair since 1977 every 2 weeks. We tried to pick her up 4 days after we saw her so I could do her hair. He said she couldn't come because she had a doctor appt. She told her sister that lives in another state she didn't come because we may try to talk her into signing a POA. All of this is coming from him. So he had convinced her that we will lock her up in a nursing home or something. He made it impossible for us to visit my mom by not answering the door, phone or simply take her away from her house all day. I went over my mom's with my husband about 2 weeks later and her boyfriend was working in the yard. He went off on me in front of my husband and wouldn't let us go in. My husband convinced me to just leave because he was getting angry and didn't want to catch a case for hurting him. We called Adult Protective services. They went over the first time when she was alone. My mom told them we didn't want to be bothered with her and we never come see her. We were shocked that my mom would say that. Since that time, they live somewhere else because my mother said she doesn't feel safe in her own home, but they still pay rent for my mom's house. She calls the Adult Protective services the Police. So when she called my brother and I, she cussed us out and said were trying to put her in jail. So I guess this is what her boyfriend is allowing her to think. She told us to leave her alone and stay out of her business. She said she would never forgive us. She sounds angrier than I've ever heard. She did not allow us to even talk. Adult Protective Services went over there a second time. They met her boyfriend with her that time. They told me they didn't feel safe because her boyfriend was so mean and angry and so was my mom. They saw how my mother acted so different in front of him. Adult Protective services took a man with her for protection the 3rd time. But she could never catch them home again. Since then APS told me that my mom and her boyfriend could sue them for harassment since they do not want their services. I'm just lost and devastated. I've been on depression medicine and seen a therapist. I cry a lot. We don't get much support from family because the two of them tell people we just don't like her boyfriend. Out of sympathy and respect for her, most of them believe her. It's been 6 months now that we haven't seen her. Before he came into her life, our family has always been close. It's like we're grieving without a dead body. I'm looking for a support group or some type of help. I'm in Cleveland Ohio.

Wits end

It sounds like your mother may be suffering severe depression as a result of the stroke. The loss of interest in self-care, lack of interest in maintaining friendships, lack of energy, and generalized self pity and crankiness can be-- and often are -- symptomatic of depression. When a stroke occurs, brain cells die. As a direct result, there is a cascade of chemical changes in the brain. Those changes cause depression. Talk to her primary care dr. and her neurologist about what medications may be available for her. I've been through this exact thing with my father-in-law and more recently with my husband. It won't help to talk to HER about depression. At this point, she will only be angered by it. Talk to her doctors -- soon.

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