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Comments for 2 years after my husbands stroke and he is worse not better

Husband worse not better

Hi my husband had a stroke in April 2020. He made a full recovery (physically) although his cognitive ability remained impaired, he cant remember or recall short term memory.
He struggles to keep up with conversations, he has to take in, process, and reply to any questions. Obviously he is very conscious of this so hates socialising with people. I'm a caregiver myself with over 24 years experience in various care sectors, including stroke care. However, every individuals stroke is unique to them. I feel a complete failure at the moment. My husband condition is worse not better. After his stroke he had a sense of euphoria..."I've dodged a bullet, I'm perfectly OK, I'm lucky". However the cognitive impairment were obvious to myself and our children as we see him and live this every day. He was in complete denial there were any issues or concerns and told everyone he saw he was "fine, completely recovered". He is now just realising he isn't fine, and he's struggling with depression too. He is very angry with me, says I should have told him all these things we were noticing (which myself and our immediate household family did ) but he brushed it off and discussion was closed.
He's very angry with me right now and says I've given him no support and that it's all my fault that he feels how he does. And I really don't know how to help him. He seems to be deteriorating the last 6 weeks especially, he cant focus, he cant hold a conversation most days, (as in finds it difficult to interact or keep up), he is extremely forgetful, this is ALOT worse than immediately after the stroke, and worsening by the day. What can I do?

Caregivers and Facebook group

Hi Alicia,
I'm afraid I can't be of much help with the medical aspect of this. I've been my husband's caregiver for almost 5 years now. He also won't go out except for the doctor's or PT. I am retired so don't have to work but since I have a paid caregiver, for a couple of hours most days, I can get out. Although I think a therapist would be very helpful, so you know you're not alone there are several Facebook groups that are oriented toward stroke or TBI caregivers. One is Original Stroke/TBI Caregivers group. If you're on Facebook, just find the group and ask request to be a member. It's good to introduce yourself and your situation fairly soon when you're on. One can let off steam safely here, and sometimes get some good ideas as to how to proceed.

Recovery is up to the survivor

This is coming from a stroke survivor so there is no basis to listen to me. As far as stroke recovery is concerned the doctors and therapists really are only good as far as showing you what exercises to do and nagging, the survivor has to do all the work. There are no shortcuts, no magic pills. In other words his recovery is totally up to him and how much work he puts into it. No work, no recovery. You need to take care of yourself first.

Husband not getting better.

Im sorry to hear that your husband is not getting better. I had a Stroke also a couple of years ago, after my Doctor removed my medication for a heart problem. I still cannot go to the toilet, or sleep, plus a few other little things. I live by my self with no family in Australia, I have not returned to work yet.I am waiting to go into hospital to have an electric shock to try and get my heart ticking normally what ever normal is. Please do not give up on your husband, he needs you as much as you need him. I wish you both all the best of luck, give your girl friend a call and go for a nice meal and maybe a dance.

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