Submissions from Readers

recognition/memory loss

Question: My mum had a stroke in the last 2 days but does not recognize my dad. Is this common?

Answer: It is not uncommon for someone to be confused and have memory loss after a stroke especially in your mom's case where it has only been a couple of days since the stroke. Stroke patients are often much more confused in the days after a stroke, and this usually improves.

Comments for recognition/memory loss

My dad can’t remember my puppies name

I got a puppy about a month after my dad had his stroke. I’m 18 and still live with him. He’s helping me raise her and train her for the time being, her name is Roxi. My brother used to live with us too with his old little dog named Sisco. Now they’re moved out, but for some reason, my dad can only call my puppy Sisco. He will realize he’s doing this and ask what my puppy's name really is but will go back to calling her Sisco moments later. He questions this out loud, "why do I never say her name". This has been concerning for me, as I do not want my puppy to be confused, as I don’t want my dad to be as well. But what got me a little more worried was last night when he asked for her name again, and he had absolutely no memory of me calling her Roxi and had no idea that was her name even though I repeated it to him countless times. Is this normal, and is there a solution? Like should I write her name on his hand or something?

Response from Stroke Rehab: It is not uncommon to have memory problems after a stroke. Sometimes it's not memory problems but speech issues where someone cannot come up with the right word. Some stroke patients have both memory and speech problems. If your father can still read after having his stroke, and his issue is not speech but rather memory, then you could put a sign up that says "the dog's name is Roxi", get a collar with the puppy's name in easy to read letters, and even put the name on the puppy's water and food bowls. The more visual reminders you have, the better it should be, but if your father's short term memory is impaired he may still forget if he's not looking at the visual reminders. If your father has a speech problem after having his stroke, then reminders may still not solve the problem as he may have trouble saying or coming up with the right word even with a reminder. The only way to know if visual cues will work is to try it.

He knows my voice, just not where from...

After my husbands stroke, he knew my voice and would respond accordingly. He had become non verbal and had significant swelling of the brain which was relieved by removing the cap and keeping it alive by placing it in his tummy. I could always get him to respond, or calm down or get his attention and stop the combativeness that was a result of that stroke. Later on he still would respond to me before anyone. My husband was keeping a secret though. While he knew my voice, it was familiar and to him signaled that all would be well and he was safe, he had no idea of who I was, had no memory of me, of us, of our life. I had been his wife for fourteen years and it was all gone. The way I figured it out? It was in the way he was behaving. I finally asked him point blank, do you remember me, do you know who I am? His answer? No. I was devastated. Fast forward seven weeks and we are home. He knows that I am his wife. But he has not memory nor husbandly feelings for me. I was slapped with that one yesterday. He used to make videos for me, so we watched one The man in the video was passionate about me, the one sitting next to me did not know what was so special about me. I thought I was going to die. So I made a decision last night and discussed it with him today. He has no memory at all and no feelings. I will not hold him to the vows that he does not remember and I will not force him to stay with a woman he is not even attracted to. I will take care of him and will get him as far as I can and hopefully on his own. At that point I will leave. You see he no longer has those ties to me and he will go looking for the one he wants in his life and I am not it. I am not mad at him. Neither one of us have done anything wrong but the stroke destroyed our marriage. I hope he finds the one is he is looking for someday. As for me, I still have the feelings, I still have the memories and I made vows. I will spend the rest of my life alone because I have loved him so totally that I will not be able to give another that level of love and its not fair to knowingly give someone second best with the knowledge that you will never be able to give them the best. So while he will start over and go on, I am going to hide in a hole and just pray to die, sooner rather than later.

I want him back

My husband had a stroke November 20,2017. His short term memory is bad. All he wants to do is sleep. I make him get up. We play games to stimulate his brain. He is 82 years old. I miss my friend. I am patiently answering the same question over and over. And when he asks me how his parents are and I have to tell him they have passed I have to watch the tears run down his cheeks. I am in a constant state of panic and am having trouble sleeping. When does it get easier??

Memory loss

My husband had the same exact issues. December 5th 2017 and I want him back too!

Memory loss

My Husband had a stroke on June 19th, 2017. I found him on our bedroom floor. He was awake but could not move and could not look me in the eyes. I called 911 they took him to the ER, I'M thinking he had a stroke he can't move right arm or leg and he can't. They did a CT SCAN on him and the ER doctor came and told me it was clear. The doctor then stated that we will let him rest for a little while and release him. I called that nurse into the room and told you better get me someone who knows what they are doing. I said they can not release my husband he can't even walk or talk. She said that she was going to talk to the doctor. Well, the doctor came back in the room and asked my husband some questions asked him to move his right arm and his leg well he could not do it. So the doctor said I'm pretty sure he had a stroke had ordered an MRI. My husband ended up going into surgery to relieve pressure Brain and have the blood drained. He is now out of ICU but is still in the hospitaL. The doctors have said what is next step is. My big thing is his memory loss 3 days ago I went see him and he knows me, the next day he does not know me or if I asked him do know your daughter's name he says no. And you don't know me? He says no. No is the only word he can say. He's confused, combative he's always trying to get up out of bed. I know that I'm going to a lot of patience, I want my husband back.

Memory Relapse After Mild Stroke (5 Months)

by Dale Blackwell
(Reidsville,NC)

Question My mother had a "mild" stroke in April 2012. She can walk and talk pretty well but a few months later, sometime in September 2012, she got up one morning and it was difficult for her to think clearly. It's now October and her cognitive abilities are still worse than they were in September. What happened? We've seen the Neurologist and he says it wasn't a TIA. Also, for the past couple of weeks she has had a sore leg right at the top of her calf/ bottom of knee on the backside. The doctor said it wasn't her medication and she had an MRI to rule out a clot. Any ideas on that? Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.

Answer: TIA was my first thought. Cognitive changes could also be due to vascular dementia which can be a direct effect of stroke or can be due to vascular problems that occur over a period of time depriving the brain of essential oxygen and nutrients. I am not a doctor so I'm really speculating as to what it may be. I would have her go back to the neurologist and get definitive answers if I were you (maybe try a second neurologist since the first didn't have answers for you).

As far as the posterior knee/calf pain, I have two thoughts. One might be that she has spasticity or tightness in her calf from the stroke. Another thought is that she may be hyperextending the knee causing inflammation/pain to the posterior tendons/ligaments. If the pain is not on the side of the affected leg, then maybe it's due to the stronger leg overcompensating for the weaker leg (assuming that she has one side weaker). Since you have ruled out a blood clot, then it wouldn't hurt to go see an orthopedic doctor to help you determine the cause. Sometimes patient just have pain from their stroke, but since it's such a specific area, I think something must be inflamed or tight.

Comments for Memory Relapse After Mild Stroke (5 Months)

Never Given Answers from MDs

Mom had a right temporal stroke in April/May 2018. She almost immediately got her strength back, but the short-term memory is not great. We have asked her GP, neurologist, and every therapist that came to her home. My family provides 24/7 supervision. When we ask the doctors why her short-term memory is not consistent, they all say, "We don't know what it is. It could be vascular dementia or just old age (she's 86). We don't even leave her for 5 minutes because we don't know what to do. We want to keep her home, but the memory loss is so painful. They say it takes up to a year to recover memory, but at that same rate, she is also aging. She was vibrant, fun-loving and outgoing before this all happened. We are so sad.

short term memory problems

by lisa mehlberg
(st. louis Mo, USA)

Question My husband is 44 yrs old and suffered a large stroke on the right side of his brain. He is physically okay and long term memory is pretty good. His main problem is short term memory. He forgets in about 10 minutes and has problem solving issues.

He works in the IT computer field and has a very complex job. We have 3 children ages 8, 6, and 5 yrs old. We play their board games and get on websites a lot. I notice that he doesn't see the left side of papers unless I direct him there.I am wondering if there is anything more I can do with him at home to help. He goes to a day facility rehab 3 days a week as well.

Thank you!

Answer First, since you are saying that he is not seeing the left side of papers, I would get him an appointment with a neuro-optometrist. They can see what is going on with his vision and get him special eyewear. Make sure it is a neuro-optometrist and not just an optometrist so that he gets the best evaluation and treatment. Secondly, if he is not receiving speech therapy (ST), ask the MD for an order (I assume he probably is already receiving ST since he is going to a day facility but just want to make sure). Talk to the ST about making a memory journal that he can keep with him. This way he can refer to it if he forgets. Also, using timers/cell phone reminders/day planners can be helpful in activities such as cooking, getting to appointments, taking meds etc. Having a daily schedule can also make things easier. Activities to improve short term memory include:

Trying to learn a new musical instrument or hobby.

Make sure you get enough sleep and exercise.

Stay involved in social activities/opportunities to communicate with others.

Using memory strategies such as imagery, chunking, mnemonics, association, etc.

Working crossword puzzles

Using opportunities in everyday life to work on memory recall. One can also work on memory recall activities directly related to their job/work. Functional use of memory and problem solving in everyday life is most beneficial.

Comments for short term memory problems

Not your normal stroke

My husband 29 was attacked and stabbed in the neck and almost died in my arms. He got through surgery well but was intubated due to swelling when he finally could speak with us he was acting strange so they ordered a MRI and it came back that he had a stroke due to a blood clot they missed. We started to ask him simple questions like who is in the room right now he said mamma daddy but it got to me and he can't remember my name. He knows who I am he just doesn't know my name then later on in the day he stopped asking for me and wouldn't look me in the eye or speak to me I feel like I'm losing him

Trying to help a dear Friend

My friend had a stroke a month ago and was untreated for 3 days now from what I do know she's very unstable and can be violent I'm trying to help her children find some where for treatment. We are very concerned for her safety

help please

My mum had a stroke in March, and I have noticed recently (over the last month or 2) her memory is shocking. I also have to repeat myself all the time. Mum also puts her clothes on back to front or even inside out, and when I see her I have to tell her. I have also noticed that she forgets where she puts things and even tonight she had to ask me the name of her dogs. Please help.

follow up from my husband short term memory problems

Thank you for your comments. My husband's short term memory is improving just slowly. His left sided vision is getting better too. I am told he has field cuts in his vision. He is pretty depressed now and having a lot of panic attacks. He just now is really realizing all that has happened to him. Besides the mental aspect of the stroke he initially suffered an ascending aortic dissection which caused his stroke. He used to be a big weight lifter and lived to work out. They repaired a portion of his aorta but it is torn all down his body into his leg so lifting over 50lbs is out as well as vigorous exercise. So his usual stress relief mechanism are taken from him as well. To make matters worse I lost my full-time job of the past 11 years about 3 weeks before his stroke. He had forgot I lost my job but now he knows this and the fact that he is disabled. I am getting him in to see a psychiatrist as soon as I can. His primary doctor has prescribed him depression/anxiety medication as well. I don't want him to become discouraged and his panic attacks seem to happen at therapy as he becomes frustrated and at night before bedtime.

Time

Hello, I am a woman in my 40's with two children who had a stroke for unknown causes. My short term memory was affected, and I lost awareness of my left side existing in space, along with other issues. it took focused work on my part to fully come back, and three years later I am fine. I know I had a stroke, but you would not know meeting me. I guess I am saying it takes time for your system to link up again and send all the right brain messages. I had just taken a leave from work so that was not a conflict. But stress and money would have slowed my recovery, since I was the type of person that pushed myself for work to the detriment of my body. Depression is common also. For me it was a huge huge wake up. And terrifying. I am so sorry you family is experiencing this. I had a fantastic neurologist which helped guide me but there are so many other things that helped--supportive family structure, friends, believing in something. Best to you and your husband.

Recognizing loved ones after a massive brain bleed

Question: A friend of mine suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke 3 weeks ago. They performed surgery, and she was in a medically induced coma for 10 days. Despite all odds she woke up and has been making progress. She's breathing on her own with little help from oxygen through trach. She totally seemed to recognize her friends and family. Mouthing "I love you" and laughing and smile at appropriate times. She was moved to a rehab two days ago. She seems to be a lot more confused now than she was in the hospital. They capped her trach, and she is now able to talk but she's saying she doesn't know who her loved ones are. Why did she recognize us a week ago but not now? Will her memory come back?

Answer It's not unusual for stroke patients to be very confused in the initial stages after having a stroke. Based on my experience in working with stroke patients, I imagine your friend's memory of loved one's and friends will return especially since she recognized you in the hospital. I would bring it to the attention of the inpatient rehabilitation staff if her cognition has decreased since leaving the hospital as they will want to be on the lookout for brain bleeding/increased pressure in the brain. Medications can also make patients more confused as well as the time of day. Fatigue often sets in at the end of the day and can effect cognition.

Comments for Recognizing loved ones after a massive brain bleed

My ex had a stroke.

My ex and the father of my kids had a stroke while in jail doing 50 days for the first time. The jail never gave him his blood pressure med and heart medication etc. He was sent out of their by ambulance and sent to the local hospital and sent to another because of stroke and internal bleeding.They released him early because of this. The doctors told his kid's and I that he had no medication. He has been in the hospital for 2 months now and hoping to put him in a nursing home rehabilitation for 3 to 6 months.

It has been a nightmare. He is confused. Thinks he is still in jail. Calls his daughters thinking they are other people. He can walk now but his mind isn't right. They operated on him and he was giving 12 pints of blood after coming out of the jail in my town. He was dehydrated badly when he came to the hospital. It was touch and go. The doctors saved his life. He is 66 and disabled. This was a first time.The hospital case workers told us all that they could put him on the 1st floor for rehabilitation. He spent close to 2 week's in the ICU. and they moved him into a room with a nurse watching him all the time. Now they are changing their tune and won't give him the long term in patient therapy their because he lost his Medicare for 1 month and will get it back next month. Even nursing home's were refusing him.

He has the mind of a child. One sec he knows us then he doesn't. He thinks he is still locked up. He was talking to the answering machine like there was a person there. He is not the same person and very confused. His kids told the case worker who was trying to put him out that I was mad and that if they put him out, I would have every newspaper I hope to cover that.

We just pray to God a rehabilitation facility will take him and help him with his memory.If they would have given him his 2 blood pressure pills a day, this might not of happen. He had heart surgery 4 years ago and IV filter put in. He always took his blood pressure and warfarin and heart medication everyday. They from day one said he could go through their rehabilitation program as a inpatient. Now that's changed. He has no health directive made out. He is not the same. God help us what can we do. He has to have inpatient rehabilitation. We are at our wits end. His daughters can't afford to higher a lawyer to draw up papers for his medical and health to be over him in his care. He is very confused. The doctors even said that they released him because they would of been stuck paying thousands out from the jail. He is not a violent person or rapist or murderer. Nothing like that. His kid's thought he was getting his medicine. Yet the doctor' said he had nothing.

Will he ever remember again? He tries and gets so confused thinking he is still locked up. We all don't know what to do. If we go visit him at the hospital we can't bring him home. He needs inpatient rehab. The case worker is trying to push him out any way she can. God please bring his mind back. We have prayed. My daughter even cried begging the case worker. My daughter said they are putting it in his head. " Want to go home" She said she heard it in the background. The hospital is good his doctors and nurses were great in the ICU. Now No! It's the case worker! The inhumane treatment from the jail he came from. You do that to a animal and they want people hung. To a human. No! The doctors and god and prayers saved his life. The case worker. It's all about the money. My daughter said bill him. He is not the same. So confused. Like a child. He was never like that before his arrest.

Short term memory loss

Question: My husband had a stroke 4 years ago and has severe short term memory loss which I am told will never get better. It is stressful for him and for me. I recently retired and am now home with him all day. I need some help to cope with the frustration. Are there books to help caregivers of short term memory loss patients or support groups to help? Thanks you. Peggy Brouillet

Answer: Peggy, I would go to a caregiver website or stroke support group website and search for any postings regarding short term memory loss. I have listed some caregiver websites at https://www.stroke-rehab.com/caregiver-assistance.html and some stroke support group websites at https://www.stroke-rehab.com/caregiver-assistance.html. Almost all the websites that I have visited have forums that have a search function that should allow you to look for information relevant to short term memory loss or any other topic you want to search. You might find information from those who have spouses with dementia and Alzheimer's as well since these are diagnoses that will have problems with short term memory.

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Confusion

by Jane
(Kentucky)

Question: When a stroke victim gets confused about who someone is or who has been to visit, is it better to correct them or just go along with what they say.

Answer: Honestly, it depends on the situation. If the stroke is newer and you are trying to orient the person to what is going on and help improve their memory then I would say to go ahead and give them the correct information. If, however, it is a chronic stroke and memory has shown to be permanently damaged or they have dementia, then I would not say anything. You might be able to help them by giving them a memory notebook or log where they can fill in the information (or someone can help fill it in) then refer them to it when they are trying to accurately remember an event.

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Memory issues

by Ibrahim
(Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan)

Question: My mother is recovering from stroke. She can walk now but has trouble keeping her balance and has a lot of memory related issues. From what I have observed, she doesn't remember the events which occurred in the past 6-10 years and has short term memory loss, what can be helpful in her recovery?

Answer: I think a very helpful adaptive strategy would be to make her. Either you or she could record information to help her keep up with not only information from her past but also recent information. It would be best for her to do it if she is able because writing the information may help her remember better, but if she is not able, it is perfectly fine for you to write the information for her (assuming she can still read). This is only an adaptive technique and won't improve her ability to remember but does allow her to function better in her daily life as she has a backup technique.

As far as exercises to improve memory, you can try repetitive drills, mnemonic strategies, rhymes, songs, stories, codes, imagery, computer games, crossword puzzles, and board games. It would be beneficial to practice repetitive drills with information you feel is important for her to remember.

Comments for Memory issues

Music

Play her favorite music, sing-a-longs are good

Memory and Emotional Problems

by Diane
(Kingston USA)

Question: My husband had his 7th stroke recently, and he has emotional and memory problems. He is on Ativan .05mg 2 x a day. He seems to have confusion when I give him both doses, but when he doesn't get it, he is irrational trying to fight with me and who ever else is around. His latest stroke was in the occipital area so his eyesight is compromised although he tells everyone a different story. My question is how to talk to him when he thinks he can drive and says he didn't have a stroke and there is nothing wrong with him. He uses both hands and legs without any problems. He also said that we put him in the hospital and they did nothing for him not even a pill.

Answer: Unfortunately, sometimes after a stroke or several strokes, individuals may have poor insight into their disabilities which appears to be the case with your husband. As long as he continues like this, it will be imperative for family to help keep him safe. Eyesight problems can put one at a risk for falls, and obviously cause big problems with driving as can cognitive deficits. You may not be able to convince him of his deficits, but in my opinion, it is important that family continue to stress safety issues and deficits to him but still be supportive and loving, not condescending. I would encourage you to have him visit with a neuro-psychiatrist or neuro-psychologist that specialize in working with patients that have emotional/mental issues stemming from neurological injury. You could also talk to the neuro-psych doctor about ways to talk with your husband. I think it is also important to have medical personnel stress to your husband any precautions they recommend such as not driving. Unfortunately, your situation can be very tough. I have seen several patients that were physically able to move well but who had eyesight and cognitive deficits that were very incapacitating. This can be difficult for families especially when patients don't look like there is anything wrong. Just remember that the most important thing is your husband's safety. You might also get ideas on ways to deal with your husband's behavior through support groups for caregivers. They have support groups and forums online as well as ones that can be attended in person.

Comments for Memory and Emotional Problems

Stroke type

Can a lady have stroke that will affect the movement of the legs, hands,toes ,fingers and the spinal cord and it won't affect the memory and the sense of feelings. Please I want to know.

Response from Stroke-rehab: Yes, some individuals will have strokes that affect their physical movement, yet memory and the sense of feelings can still be intact.

Stroke, issued

I had a large stroke in 2012. I have experienced some issues like time loss and short memory. The brain loss is about 15%. It's in the boca region. I can't spell. The reading and grammar are bad. I have to use spelling correction.

The second is right side in the frontal cortex.

People don't understand me sometime and when I tired I physically can not speak.

All the people who are on this forum, you are special because it takes a lot out of a person to deal with stroke victims.
Just be patient, but from my experience this is the new norm the old me has died, this is the new me I don't like my self but I have to deal with it.

Setting priorities.

by Rich S.
(Lebanon, Pa.)

Question: During Rehab, after my stroke (2012) I was given worksheets on how to plan my days, or projects I was working on,learning how to function in the most efficient order to accomplish any given workload. I have left-sided weakness, can walk (with cane), can read and enunciate, hold conversations (tend to get distracted). I do have problems planning what I want to get accomplished during any given day and have a tendency to forget things I planned on completing. Do you have any idea where I can find some daily planning worksheets?
Thank you for your help. Rich

Answer: There are many websites online that have worksheets. It's a matter of finding one that fits your needs. Here are a few that I found:

http://www.tbistafftraining.info/Resources/Resources_3_Worksheets.htm

https://scatteredsquirrel.com/printables-index/

https://www.home-storage-solutions-101.com/how-to-get-organized.html

www.google.com/search

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academic success strategies and memory loss

by Laura
(Ephrata, Washington)

Answer: Nine years ago I had a stroke due to lack of oxygen. Prior to that being very successful in school came easier usually with A's and B's. Now I find my memory not quite as effective or reliable. I want to go back to school now and I am hesitant because of my distrust of my memory. what can I do? To whom can I go?

Answer: I would not let your injury stop you from returning to school. Schools can make accommodations to help you such as allowing videotaping or recording of lectures, extra time for assignments, note taking accommodations, and various services. Consider what schools you want to attend and contact them regarding services/groups/accommodations for those with brain injury. There are many online resources to help those who want to return to school after a brain injury such as stroke. Here are a few links for you:

https://www.accreditedschoolsonline.org/resources/students-traumatic-brain-injury/

https://www.washington.edu/doit/what-are-some-ways-provide-note-taking-accommodations-student-disability

https://safestars.org/disabled-college-student-guide

https://www.brainline.org/article/student-brain-injury-achieving-goals-higher-education

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