Dear Old Dad Needs Help

by Tim
(Michigan)

Question: My dear old Dad needs help. He just turned 83 and has dementia. Last year he had surgery to correct a ruptured colon. During his ordeal he suffered a stroke and a heart attack.

I am happy to report that he has almost fully recovered and is leading a normal life. Except he now needs assisted living but doesn't recognize this fact. He really thinks he can live by himself and set a goal to do that.

He has been given a daily regimen of medication which he only takes if they are handed to him. The problem is he assumes this is a task being forced on him.

Do you have any advice on how to train a stroke victim to take their medications voluntarily instead of having to give them to him? If Dad could do this by himself it would go a long way to gaining his independence again.

Tim

Answer:
The elderly often feel they are losing control of their own lives especially when faced with illness and/or dementia. Some general advice for caregivers of family members with dementia is never let the person with dementia be in a situation that endangers his or her well-being, but do allow the person as much control over the situation as he or she is able. It is no fun to go from complete independence to having your children tell you how to live.

I'm not sure of the severity of your father's dementia based on your question nor whether your father still has his own home, lives with a relative, or is in a facility. Since you only asked about taking medication, I will address that issue, but there are many aspects to consider when dealing with the elderly parent who wants to live independently yet may not be safe.


It is best to be upfront and honest with your dad and talk to him if he is capable of discussing the matter. Many times, you will not know what a person with dementia is capable of doing until you give them a chance (within the boundaries of keeping them safe of course). Maybe if your dad is given more control to take his medication, he will be more willing to cooperate.

You can talk to your father and let him know that taking regularly scheduled medication is necessary if he wants to obtain independent living. If your dad is able to understand, involve his physician in explaining why each medication is necessary. You can then consider different options to help him take medications.

There are various medication dispensers that will help remind a person when to take medicine. If you are concerned about over or underdosing, one option is an automated medication dispenser that you prefill and has a lock. The dispenser will allow only the right amount of medicine to be taken at a certain time and will not allow the person to take too much medication. These dispensers also come with alert tones that let a person know when it is time to take medication.

Another option is simply human monitoring via frequent visits and telephone. Again, I don't know the severity of your father's dementia or where he is currently living, but some dementia patients may just need encouragement and reminders (not demands) from their loved ones.

If your father just flat out refuses to take medication on his own then you have a tougher problem. If cognition is too limited or your father is unyielding, then he may not be able to manage medication on his own.