2 years after my husbands stroke and he is worse not better
Question: After my husbands stroke he had 3 sessions of physical therapy which was not enough , then developed a C Diff infection which took 5 months to diagnose, he slept on the toilet for 5 months , it was awful , now his legs are swollen and no doctor can help. I took him to the emergency room 3 times with burning pain in his legs he still has the runs constantly. He drifts in and out of reality. He is 55 and I am 46 I am so depressed. It never ends. He was my best friend, and we had wonderful times together. I feel I lost him even though he is still alive. I don't go out with friends or go out anywhere except work. I feel like I am just existing. I've tried to help him but I am not a doctor, and he won't help himself. I feel so guilty, but should I end my life or continue on and get back to things I want to do.I would love to go out with him, but he refuses to go anywhere except to the doctor. We haven't been in a restaurant for 3 years or a movie. I find myself staying in bed all day long not eating, this is depression. I need to make a move . I'm so very confused as to what I should do.
: Unfortunately, I am not qualified to answer your questions, and honestly only you can decide what you want to do. You can, however, get help by talking to a licensed counselor to help you through this time. I also recommend going to a caregiver support group or at the very least looking into online caregiver forums. Others that in your situation may be able to give you invaluable insight in how to change or improve your situation and help your husband.
As a caregiver, you have to take care of yourself. This means taking care of your health and doing things you enjoy whether he comes with you or not. I think you really can't make a good decision about your situation until you start taking care of your emotional and social health. Once you have started taking care of yourself, then you can concentrate on figuring out a way to help your husband and make the life decisions you are talking about. These are my own personal opinions, however, and not expert advice.